


Loved and Betrayed

by mumofthreedevils



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Playful Hux
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 15:58:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8020114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mumofthreedevils/pseuds/mumofthreedevils
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The last statement is said with such ferocity that Kylo takes a sharp intake of breath. He squeezes Hux tight and closes his eyes. He knows now that he has reached the point where everything is going to change. Hux cannot be allowed to have another meeting with Snoke with those thoughts lingering in his head. He simply would not survive and Kylo couldn’t allow that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Catalyst

Kylo was worried, he had been since the destruction of Starkiller Base. As expected, Snoke was unimpressed and made it abundantly clear to both Kylo and Hux in a torturous meeting that had ended with Hux being admitted to the Medical Bay. The assault on his mind from Snoke had been too much for a non-force sensitive to handle and his mind had literally switched itself off to protect him and for two days Kylo sat and waited for Hux to wake up. 

Hux had always amazed Kylo. He’d never met anyone so rigid in their ways. Ordered, organised, diligent, loyal. Kylo had had to work hard to break through his exterior to find the warm, loving man beneath and then when that man had plucked him from certain death when Starkiller Base was destroyed, Kylo knew he was never going to let him get away. 

Hux had taken the loss of Starkiller Base very hard. The designing and building of the base was Hux’s crowning glory and had taken the best part of his adult life to achieve. There was a good reason Hux had become one of the youngest General’s in the Order’s history. He was ferocious. 

Hux hadn’t slept properly in weeks, denied himself food and worked himself until he couldn’t physically stand. His already slender frame had lost weight it could not afford to lose making his uniform look too big and hang uncomfortably. Hux had simply pulled his belt tighter making the uniform jacket pucker around his middle. His cheeks were sunk into his face making his cheek bones protrude painfully and his usually bright clear eyes were now dull and sunk into dark pools. He was a shadow of his former self.

As Kylo watched Hux sleeping, he was thankful that at least the medics could get some much needed nutrition into him via a drip into his arm while he was in their care and the forced sleep was at least giving Hux the much needed rest his body had been craving. The dark circles around his eyes had eased off and he looked almost serene. 

The memory of Hux reaching the point in their meeting with Snoke when his mind switched off and he crumpled to the floor lifeless, was haunting Kylo. There was nothing Kylo could do to stop it. Hux simply switched off, like a light. His mind disappeared. Kylo couldn’t ‘feel’ his presence anymore and his body hit the floor like a rag doll. Kylo felt sick to his stomach at the thought. 

The medics where actually quite thankful that he refused to leave the med bay as he too, was nursing his own injuries inflicted at the hands of his Master. They knew from past experience that keeping Kylo Ren in med bay to be taken care of properly was difficult at best and damned near impossible when he was conscious and fully alert. He was not a good patient. He refused medications that would significantly ease his pain as he was afraid of ‘losing control’ of his abilities, potentially doing a lot of damage to surroundings and hurting or even killing people.

Kylo himself looked like he’d been to hell and back but he was used to this kind of treatment from his Master. He’d learnt to protect himself from Snoke’s onslaughts long ago but they still took an awful toll on him both physically and mentally. Snoke was not averse to snapping the odd bone to make a point and this time it had been a few ribs.

Kylo was beginning to feel something he had never felt before. Hatred. A deep enmity directed solely at Snoke. This kind of treatment he was used to personally. He’d been told time and time again it would make him stronger, but Hux wasn’t force sensitive. To treat Hux this way was beyond barbaric and had almost killed the one good thing in Kylo’s life.

He wasn’t going to let Snoke get away with it.

The medics had finally managed to get Kylo out of the chair he had been slumped in beside Hux and into a bed for some much needed sleep. He’d fallen asleep still unnerved at not ‘feeling’ anything from Hux but too tired to argue. He’d fallen into an uneasy sleep almost the second his head hit the pillow but several hours later he was woken by a strange and almost scratchy feeling. As he turned to look at Hux on the bed next to him he could see movement. Kylo wrestled his way out of the cocoon of blankets he’d wrapped himself in and made his way to Hux’s bedside grabbing his hand in a slight panic.

“Hux!” he blurted out, squeezing Hux’s hand and trying to resist the urge to take him by the shoulders and shake him. “Hux please” he pleaded as his eyes steamed over.

There was a painfully long pause and Kylo visibly started trembling when he could ‘feel’ Hux in his mind again and then Hux slowly squeezed Kylo’s hand sending Kylo over the edge. The floodgates opened and the worry of the last 2 days visibly left him as he collapsed across Hux’s chest.

“What happened?” Hux attempted to say but his throat was scratchy and dry.

Kylo grabbed a glass of water and gently helped to sit Hux up. As Hux started to drink his body decided it desperately needed more and he downed the water and demanded another.

“How do you feel?” Said Kylo looking concerned.

“Like I’ve been pistol whipped” Hux says, looking at Kylo through bloodshot eyes, rubbing his head idly with his free hand. “What happened” he said again. “Why am I here? How long have I been here?”

Kylo did his best to explain exactly what had happened to them both at the meeting with Snoke and visibly shook when recounting the memory of what happened to Hux and as he listened, Hux became more and more angry.

“And you?” he queried “What did that bastard do to you this time?”

“I’m fine Hux, I’m used to it. I have a banging headache, sore muscles and some broken ribs, I’ll live”

“It’s not a life” Hux said and laid back down with a sigh and closed his eyes. “Something has to be done”

Kylo looked stunned. Hux was teetering on the brink of treason for even making the suggestion and Kylo quickly changed the subject.

“When the medics have cleared you, we’re going to hole up in your quarters and recuperate. I am going to feed you until your uniform fits you again. You are going to sleep for at least 8 hours a night and we are going to spend time together. I’ve let you get away with your self-loathing for long enough and I will not see you do it again”

Hux is stunned by the veracity with which Kylo delivered that statement and merely answered “Yes sir” with a strained grin.

When Hux is released from the med bay later that day along with Kylo, they make their way to Hux’s quarters. Kylo has all but lived in these quarters for the last few months and it has never been questioned, by Hux or any other crew member. Their relationship had simply been accepted and become part of the everyday ‘norm’. This had allowed Kylo and Hux to have what Kylo considered to be some semblance of a normal life. A life he knew, deep down, was going to change and it made his heart ache.

For now though, he is just happy to have Hux back and in ‘their’ bed together. He hugs Hux close and is shocked by how painfully thin Hux actually is. His skin is actually loose around his backside and his ribs dig uncomfortably into Kylo’s chest. Kylo can’t stop himself, he presses his head against the back of Hux’s neck and cries.

Hux is woken to the sound of Kylo’s sobs and as he turns around to face Kylo, Kylo dips his head and tries to hide his face but it’s too late. Hux is distraught when he lifts Kylo’s face to meet his own and sees the anguish in Kylo’s eyes.

“I’m so sorry” he blurts out. “I know I’ve been distant lately, angry even. I’ve been punishing myself for what happened to Starkiller Base and I’ve been ignoring you. You never gave up on me though. It didn’t matter how angry I got with you, you stayed”

“Of course I stayed. I lo….. I love you Hux” 

It was the first time Kylo had actually said those words to anyone and it felt wonderful. The realisation that he was actually in love with someone enough to tell them that filled him with warmth and he wrapped his arms  
around Hux.

“I love you too” Hux whispered into his ear.

Kylo squeezed Hux gently on hearing his reciprocation and then sniffed loudly into the nape of Hux’s neck.

*****

Over the next few weeks Kylo is true to his word. Hux is treated like the Emperor he deserves to be and Kylo lavishes him with attention. All of Hux’s meals are planned to help him gain weight and are accompanied by supplements that Kylo demanded from the Doctors. Kylo watches Hux eat ensuring that every bite is swallowed and slowly Kylo notices the progress. Hux’s cheeks fill out so that his cheek bones aren’t like razor blades, his ribcage disappears and his lightly toned muscles begin to make a re-appearance and to Kylo’s delight, Hux’s firm, pert buttocks fill out again as the saggy skin disappears, a fact Hux notices as Kylo spends more time squeezing and kneading them when they are intimate.

They spend their days reading, cuddling, watching holovids of tacky movies and just getting to know each other very well but Kylo can sense that Hux is holding something back. Kylo starts to regret the training he’s been giving Hux to control his thoughts. He knows there’s something going on in that controlled mind but he can’t quite get to it. He doesn’t want to push as he’s promised Hux he would never do that but he knows that if Snoke thinks Hux is hiding something he won’t stop to find out what and Hux will suffer again.

One evening while they are curled up watching a particularly tacky movie, Kylo reaches a point where he needs to know. He is sat with his back on the headboard, Hux is sat between his legs resting his back on Kylo’s chest and Kylo is resting his chin on the top of Hux’s head. Kylo wraps his arms around Hux’s shoulders fearing that Hux may bolt when confronted and simply asks….

“What did you mean when you woke up in med bay?”

“Mmm, what?” said Hux sleepily.

“What did you mean when you said something has to be done?”

Hux stiffens a little and wriggles under Kylo’s grip.

“Snoke. Something needs to be done about him. The way he treats you….. and me for that matter, it’s no way to treat an animal let alone his subordinates. You’re his prized pupil for God’s sake, how can he justify what he does to you…. regularly! I don’t like the way he does things, I don’t like where he’s taking the First Order and WILL NOT have him lay a finger on me again!”

The last statement is said with such ferocity that Kylo takes a sharp intake of breath. He squeezes Hux tight and closes his eyes. He knows now that he has reached the point where everything is going to change. Hux cannot be allowed to have another meeting with Snoke with those thoughts lingering in his head. He simply would not survive and Kylo couldn’t allow that. 

*****

The next day Hux proclaims is Kylo’s day. The tables are turned completely as Hux lavishes time and attention on Kylo. They spend time in the gym sparring together, which Kylo has missed immensely. They return to Hux’s quarters and spend a leisurely hour in the shower. The contact between them is irresistible. Long languid kisses, hands all over each other, Kylo kneading Hux’s buttocks and Hux raking his fingers down Kylo’s back. It all ends inevitably with the pair of them losing all control and Kylo taking Hux roughly and completely to orgasm. Only this time Hux seemed to be a little more needy, a little more wanton. As Kylo buries himself deep within Hux he looks into Hux’s eyes and Hux seems almost desperate to please Kylo as they both come together and just hold each other possessively. They are left trembling with Hux’s legs wrapped tightly around Kylo’s waist. Hux is frantically Hugging Kylo and Kylo could swear that Hux is crying but underneath the warm shower he’s not certain.

After the shower, Hux had laid on a lavish feast and Kylo notices that the food has been picked to please ‘his’ palate. An array of his favourite dishes is lined up and they spend the evening nibbling their way through them with Kylo getting Hux to try things he’s never tried before and inevitably screwing his nose up in distaste. There’s one exception he notices however, the pudding, a pink frozen creamy dish that Hux had been wanting Kylo to try for a while and as Hux offered him a spoonful Kylo could see the excitement with a hint of sadness  
in his eyes. The fruity cold sensation on his tongue was amazing and he demanded more. They both guzzled the pudding down like giggly children. 

It was a long night and they were both completely stuffed and on the verge of a food coma when Hux decided to end the evening with a drink.

“Will you join me?” he asked Kylo as he poured himself a glass of his favourite brandy.

Kylo didn’t drink very often but he was so relaxed he took Hux up on the offer. Hux poured a second glass and walked to where Kylo was looking out of the viewport and admiring a particularly striking nebula. He handed Kylo the glass.

“A toast” he says. “Know that I love you more than anything in this galaxy, I wish you a long a happy life Kylo” and then he downed his glass.

“Us Hux, us a long and happy life” Kylo said as he downed his own drink.

Hux leaned in to Kylo and gave him a gentle kiss and it was then that Kylo felt a strange sensation. His legs began to feel a little like Jelly and he looked at Hux in panic. Hux stepped closer, he dropped his glass and wrapped an arm around Kylo who was beginning to sway.

“I’m so sorry” he whispered into Kylo’s ear.

Kylo looked frantically at Hux who was now visibly crying and then he remembers nothing.


	2. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘Hux’ he thought…. ‘why would Hux do this to him?’

Kylo woke with a start, cold sweat all over his skin and rolling down his face. He felt sick to his stomach and incredibly dizzy. He sat up quickly, too quickly and emptied the contents of his stomach into the nearby waste bin. For a moment he thought the indulgence of the previous evening had caught him off guard. His head was pounding but the most unnerving thing was the lack of anything else. He couldn’t ‘feel’ anything. He closed his eyes and remembers the last thing he saw. Hux was crying. Why was Hux crying?

The fog in his head starts to dissipate and he opens his eyes. He doesn’t recognise the room he’s in. It doesn’t look like anything on the Finalizer. It’s a moderate size and looks quite ‘homely’. There is a chest of drawers and a closet, drapes at a large window, with bars he notices, a small table and 2 chairs and it’s all finished off with pictures on the wall and a huge rug in the middle of the floor. There are two doors. One Kylo assumes is the entrance to the room and the other must lead to a fresher.

The bed he’s sitting on is a good size and feels comfortable and the blankets are soft and warm. None of it is ringing any bells for him and he still has no recollection of how he got there and is now becoming more than a little panicked by his loss of feeling anything. He squeezes his eyes shut to concentrate.

Nothing.

He feels nothing. There is no pain, no conflict through the force. He can’t feel anyone beyond the walls of his room. His head is normally filled with the busy workings of the Finalizer. He’d been finely tuned to everything going on and could usually pick out individuals at will. But now there was nothing. There was absolute silence. Something he’d never experienced in his entire life. He could feel his heart rate start to spike with consternation and then he noticed the collar.

His hands came up to feel around his neck only to find a thick metal collar and with horror, Kylo realised that he’d been locked into a force suppression collar. There was no way to remove it and he had no connection to the force while he was wearing it.

‘Hux’ he thought…. ‘why would Hux do this to him?’

He couldn’t believe what he was thinking and then there was a knock at the door. He stood quickly, not giving his head or legs time to acclimatise and almost fell flat on his face. His heartrate was now racing and he couldn’t catch his breath. When he finally focused on who had just walked through the door his body went into self-preservation mode and he passed out.

When he came around, his head was in someone’s lap and fingers were running though his hair. At first he thought it had all been a nightmare and he was actually still with Hux but then he opened his eyes. He felt five years old again as he looked into the eyes of his Mother, Leia Organa Solo. He practically melted into her lap crying and couldn’t stop. Leia was now crying too and she leaned over him to kiss his forehead and simply said.

“I forgive you”

That’s how they stayed for the longest time. Kylo shaking and crying and Leia stroking his hair, kissing his forehead and telling him that everything was going to be OK, that she forgave him and that he was safe.

When the shaking stopped and Kylo was feeling stronger, he moved to stand up, followed by Leia. His robes were gone and he’d been dressed in simple black trousers and a loose white shirt. His feet were bare but there were boots standing by the closet. 

“Why am I here?” Kylo eventually said. “Where’s Hux? What’s happened to Hux” he says suddenly concerned.

“Hux is safe” Leia assures him, but you need to prepare yourself. You won’t be seeing him again.

“No!” Kylo yells at her.

She visibly flinches away from him as he heads for the door and as he reaches it, he tries the handle but nothing happens. He bangs on the door again and again.

“Let me out!! You can’t keep me here. I don’t belong here” Kylo screams.

Realisation begins to set in. He’s going nowhere. He turns his back to the door falling back on it in despair and slides down to the floor with his head buried in his knees. It’s all beginning to make sense. That drink, why Hux was crying. Kylo just didn’t understand why.

Leia looks at him with pity in her eyes and Kylo now feels overwhelming anger towards her.

“Hux approached me some weeks ago” Leia said “He was conflicted about his fealty to you and his loyalty to Snoke. He was unhappy about the direction Snoke was taking the First Order in and he couldn’t stomach the way Snoke treated you.”

Kylo was stunned. He knew that Hux had been hiding something from him, but this…. this was too much.

“Hux loved you deeply” Leia said in a soft voice. “He wanted to keep you safe. He wanted you to have a life”

“My life ‘IS’ Hux” Kylo snapped.

“He gave the Resistance the location of Snoke. He said that he wanted Snoke gone, he wanted you safe. He did the only thing he could and returned you to me and all he wanted in return was to be left alone. He said he would disappear and in return the Resistance would never look for him and he would never trouble them personally again. He simply wanted to see you live a life without pain and suffering”

“That’s all my life is going to be without him” Kylo choked out, tears streaming down his face.

“You have to understand Ben…….” Leia starts before being sharply cut off.

“Ben is dead!” Kylo snaps. 

“You have to understand… Ben….” Leia says with emphasis on the name “What Hux did, he did for you. The Resistance have promised to leave him be but there are thousands of others who want to see him dead. He’ll be running for the rest of his life. He didn’t want that for you”

Kylo stands and moves to the barred window.

“What’s going to happen to me? Will I ever be free?”

“That’s up to you” Leia says with a sigh. “You will remain in that collar indefinitely, until you can be trusted not to use your powers to battle your way out of here and I have a feeling that could be quite some time”

Leia looks at Kylo staring out of the window. He’s switched off. She knows there’s no point in continuing and she is, herself, conflicted. She is looking at the son she hasn’t seen in years but she is also looking at the man who killed her husband. She wants to hold him and reassure him again that everything will be OK but she knows Kylo won’t believe that right now so she walks slowly to the exit taking one last look back at the lonely figure by the window and leaves. 

************

Some weeks later Kylo is waking in his room. The same room he returns to day after day after day. He showers, he eats breakfast, he’s escorted on daily walks to familiarise him with his new surroundings, he gets escorted to a gym where he relishes in letting his frustration out on the equipment available to him, he returns to his room, he showers, he eats and he watches news articles filled with Resistance propaganda to try and relieve his boredom until he falls asleep and dreams of Hux.

This is Kylo’s routine for almost a month until one day, on returning from the Gym, he finds Leia waiting for him. In a bid to ignore her, he heads for the fresher and jumps in the shower. He knows she’ll still be there when he gets out and that he’s only delaying the inevitable. He dries himself off, throws on some sweat pants and a loose vest, takes a deep breath and heads back into his room.

When Kylo enters the room Leia has set up two dinner plates and invites him to join her. He tentatively takes a seat and lifts the lid on his plate. He’s hungry but doesn’t think his stomach would hold anything right now. They spend the next half hour in silence as Leia eats her meal and watches as Kylo picks at his and pushes vegetables around the plate. It’s agonising.

“How have you been?” Leia finally asks.

Kylo merely hunches his shoulders in silence like a petulant teenager but inside he’s seething and wants to scream. 

“Ben, please, I need to know how you are, how you’re feeling?”

Kylo loses it and stands, slamming his chair back and away from the table.

“How the fuck do you think I am? You’ve taken me away from everything I knew, everything I loved. You’ve stripped me of my powers and you’re expecting me to just take it?!”

The guard on the door enters the room on hearing the commotion but Leia holds a hand up to stop him coming any further.

“I can see you’re not ready to talk” she says calmly.

“That’s an understatement” Kylo snaps at her and he throws himself on his bed with his back to her.

Leia resigns herself to the fact that Kylo has now ended their conversation and heads for the door.

“I love you” she says as she steps out.

The door shuts and locks behind her and Kylo squeezes his eyes shut and begs for death. 

**********

Six more months pass and slowly Kylo becomes more and more withdrawn. His walks have all but ended. He has found a spot by the lake where he sits instead. For hours he just sits and stares. His guard will eventually tell him to get moving. He forgoes his gym visits as he simply cannot see the point anymore. He’s losing his physique. He doesn’t care. He ends up back in his room. Alone. He has access to the holonet but it is heavily monitored and try as he might, he cannot find any news on the First Order or of Hux until one evening as he is about to find peace in his dreams, there’s a knock at his door.

Leia enters the room and Kylo drags himself off the bed. Leia is a little horrified at his loss of weight and muscle. She had underestimated how badly Kylo would take his new circumstances and was now beginning to doubt how he would handle the news she was about to give him.

“Well?” Kylo snaps “You’re here for a reason, what is it?” He almost spits.

Leia is distraught. She hadn’t expected him to be so cold. There was no hint of what he was thinking in his eyes. They were cold and dead and full of hate. She decided to just spit it out.

“Snoke is dead”

Kylo stands at the window and there is a long pause. 

“Get out” he says quietly but with venom Leia can feel radiating from him.

“Ben?”

“Get out!” he yells at her as he hears that name again. “Get out, get out!”

Leia is visibly shaken at his outburst of hate and leaves the room defeated.

Kylo’s mind spirals and he finds himself slumped in the corner of the room with his arms wrapped tightly around his knees rocking back and forth. The loss of Hux, the loss of his force abilities, his isolation, the death of his master, it’s all too much and Kylo’s mind collapses in on itself until Kylo feels completely numb and lifeless. His memories leave him until he closes his eyes and sees nothing. All he feels is alienation, hostility….. malevolence.


	3. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo had shut down completely. He hadn’t left his room in weeks. He was barely eating and exercise was a distant memory. He refused to talk to anyone, least of all Leia who he apparently now despises.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, or so she’d always thought. Leia did the only thing she could think of and contacted her brother Luke who had once mentored Ben before he was seduced by the Dark Side of the force and more specifically by Snoke.

Kylo had shut down completely. He hadn’t left his room in weeks. He was barely eating and exercise was a distant memory. He refused to talk to anyone, least of all Leia who he apparently now despises.

Luke arrives with his apprentice in tow. Rey has been with Luke since the destruction of the Starkiller Base. She hasn’t seen Kylo since then although the memory of their duel is still fresh in her head. The only difference now is she has been given another perspective on Kylo’s actions and she almost feels sorry for him…. almost. The anguish he must have been in to feel he needed to kill his own father was unimaginable and when she had been told that it probably made no difference for him she found herself almost crying for him. She still doesn’t know how she feels about seeing him again and can only imagine that Kylo will not be happy to see her. 

Leia, Luke and Rey arrive at Kylo’s quarters together. Leia is still unsure how this is going to go but at this point she is desperate for any kind of communication with him. They knock on the door but when there is no answer they let themselves in. Kylo is sat on the floor in front of the window in a stream of warm light. He’s in loose trousers and nothing else. He’s hunched over his knees with his hands over his head. His ribs are painfully protruding through his skin. Leia brings her hand up to her mouth to try to hide her anguish but the tears betray her.

“Ben!” Luke says forcefully.

Kylo physically jumps but stays put. The familiar voice doing nothing to ease his feelings. On the contrary, it has just set him completely on edge.

“Ben” Luke says again a little more gently, although the memory of what this boy….this man did is still raw for him.

“What?” is the only reply he gets.

‘Progress’ Leia thinks. This is the first time he’s responded to that name.

“You have visitors. Don’t you think you should at least get dressed”

Kylo stands and heads for the fresher without looking at anyone who has entered the room. When he exits he’s thrown on a loose shirt. His hair is lank and in need of cutting. His face looks gaunt and lifeless and he physically looks painfully thin. When he lifts his head to look at his visitors he is stunned and visibly starts to shake.

“W…why is she here?” he says gesturing towards Rey. 

“She’s my apprentice Ben”

“There’s nothing you can teach her that will be of any benefit” Kylo throws at him.

“She’s doing well and very nearly completed her initial training. You should be happy for her. She has found her balance within the force”

Kylo sneers “Really? Are you sure?”

“I have something for you” Rey says suddenly.

Kylo steps back and looks at Rey in disbelief. She still looks so young…. So innocent. Rey lifts her hands and reveals her gift.

“Ben, I believe this belongs to you” she says with a bright smile.

Leia is shocked and makes a move to stop Rey but Luke raises a hand to stop her.

Kylo is staggered and for the longest moment he doesn’t respond. When he looks back at Rey it is Ben who tentatively reaches out to touch his Grandfather’s lightsabre but stops himself short and looks into Rey’s eyes. All he can see is the pity behind them.

“Please take it” she says. “I’ve built my own sabre I really have no use for this one anymore.”

Ben reverently takes the sabre. It feels strange in his hand. It’s been so long since he’d held a sabre he’d almost forgotten what it felt like. He makes no attempt to ignite it and simply places it on top of his chest of drawers.

“Thank you” he says with his back to Rey. He’s hunched over, almost as if he’s feeling shame about who he was and what he did. His breathing has become a little laboured as he attempts to hold himself together. 

“You must come out with us tomorrow. Get some air. Talk a while” Rey says eagerly, almost seemingly to have forgotten their last meeting in the snow covered forest on Starkiller Base.

She finds herself feeling a little protective suddenly. Knowing what Ben was tricked into doing by Snoke and seeing him here now, so open and vulnerable. She knew from her own experience what loneliness and isolation felt like. 

“You can’t stay in here forever. It would be such a waste”

Ben looks at her and straightens his back. He can’t believe what she is offering.

“Yes, ok yes,” he says tentatively. “I think that will be a welcome change” he says. 

Leia can’t believe what she has just witnessed. She never expected to get this far so quickly. Ben looked almost happy at the thought of seeing them all again tomorrow and as they left the room she moved to steel a kiss from him. He leant down and she embraced him softly and kissed his bony cheek. 

********

The next few months were something Leia had only imagined in dreams. Luke and Rey made regular visits to encourage and support Ben and Ben had started to re-emerge from the crestfallen man she had witnessed just a few short months ago. He started taking care of himself. He was eating properly and exercising and it was showing as he started to fill out again and his muscles re-immerged. The only thing bothering her now was the look he had on his face. He never seemed truly happy. His eyes were dull and sullen and resigned to the life they were leading. It was heart breaking.

It had now been almost two years since Ben had been returned to her and today was going to be the biggest challenge he had faced yet. Luke and Rey had returned for support. He was going to need them more than anything else.

They arrive at Ben’s quarters, knock, and wait for an answer. 

“Enter” Ben replies.

They all greet each other cordially. Rey can hardly contain her excitement and fidgets as she sits on Ben’s bed.  
Luke takes a seat at the table and Leia stands in the middle of the room taking Ben’s hands in her own. Ben looks a little befuddled and creases his brows with a little worry.

“It’s time” Leia says.

“Time for what?” Ben asks.

“Time to remove the collar” Leia says a little tentatively.

Ben lets go of her hands and steps back looking panicked. He’s not ready, not prepared. He’s only just getting used to life without his force abilities. He’s not ready to get them back again. Not after so long!

“No!” he says sharply. “I can’t, I’m not ready”

“If not now, then when? Leia says softly. “You knew this day would have to come”

Ben looks at her in utter panic and drops to his knees. Rey is quietly overwhelmed and tears fall down her cheeks. 

“It’s ok Ben” Rey says, we’re all here to help you.

Ben looks to Rey and then to Luke and then back at his Mother. Leia steps forward and holds the key to the collar in her hand. Ben has folded in on himself and has his hands over his face. Leia bends down and releases the catch on the collar. The collar falls to the floor with a loud ‘clank’.

There is a tense few seconds and then Ben inhales sharply and deeply and brings his head up, eyes wide with terror. The feeling of being totally surrounded and penetrated by the force, both light and dark, consumes him. It’s too much, too quickly and he crumples to the floor unconscious.

When he wakes, he’s been moved to his bed. Rey is stroking his hand and talking soothingly to him. He can ‘feel’ her pity and then he ‘feels’ Luke’s anxiety and his Mother’s worry. What he doesn’t feel is Snoke. The voice that had been inside his head for so long was finally gone. 

He sits up and feels incredibly dizzy. His head is buzzing. He can feel the myriad of minds outside his room and none of them are familiar. Suddenly feeling quite sick he excuses himself and heads for the fresher. He stands facing the mirror for the longest time feeling overwhelmed. His body doesn’t feel like his anymore. His mind is filled with uncontrollable thoughts and feelings he can’t shut out. He’s out of practice.

When he leaves the fresher he moves to put his boots on.

“Where are you going?” Leia asks.

“Out” Ben says. “I’m assuming that now I’m trusted without the collar, I’m free to go where I want?” Ben says sounding a little cold and distant.

“You’ll still have guards but you are free to come and go at will” Leia says with concerned eyes.

Ben doesn’t look at her and he doesn’t understand the need for the guards. With his powers back there would be nothing they could do if he decided to use them. He huffs and turns to his chest of drawers and his hand hovers over the lightsabre, ‘his’ lightsabre, but he doesn’t pick it up. He snaps his hand away and abruptly leaves the room. He needs to get away, needs to think.

He heads for his spot under the tree by the lake. It is far enough away from the city that the overwhelming thoughts and feelings of thousands of lifeforms is subdued. The only annoyance now are the thoughts of the two bumbling idiots his Mother has posted as guards.

‘How easy would it be to overpower them and then slip away?’ he thinks idly.

And then he stops himself. There’s no point. There’s nothing out there now for him. Hux is a distant memory and there’s a good chance that an encounter with someone seeking revenge over the destruction of the Hosnian System has already ended Hux’s life. Without his connection to the force he would never have felt him die. He finds his heart skips a beat and becomes incredibly heavy at that thought. He has to know, has to find out what happened to him but he has to be careful and take his time. 

Hiding his thoughts from Luke and Rey won’t be easy, he’s so out of practice, so he makes a start by meditating. He sits for hours and lets the world drain away and lets the force in. He feels empowered by it but knows he must keep it controlled. He must bide his time and be patient. He needs to regain his control before making any kind of move. 

It had been two years! Two years since he was cruelly ripped away from everything he knew and loved but he’s finally feeling some hope. He knows he doesn’t belong here. He’s disconnected from his Mother. She loves him, he knows that, but he also knows that she will never forgive him for killing his Father. He is a constant reminder to her that she has lost both her Husband and her Son. Luke is wary of him and with good reason. Rey is the enigma. She ‘should’ hate him but he finds her pitying him and mothering him and he finds her quite condescending.

‘Typical Jedi’ He thinks. Always thinking they know better but she is strong and he will need to be extra careful around her.

He steels himself to taking his time and using ‘their’ time and patience to his advantage. He needs to be stronger than he’s ever been if he is to break completely free, find Hux and then disappear forever.

Over the next few months he is the model of control. He takes meditation and training with Luke and Rey, honing his old skills. The first time he ignites his lightsabre it feels astounding. His heart is pounding. The humming of the blade vibrating through his grip feels natural to him again and as he spars with Rey he notices the occasional flick of fear escape from her thoughts. The memory of their last duel together still so difficult to forget. 

Slowly, Ben feels something else. Complacency. They trust him. They think that Ben has forgotten his former life and who he truly is. That Kylo Ren is dead and forgotten.

‘Fools’ 

*******

It had now been two and a half years of isolation. That’s what Ben feels, even though he’s surrounded on a daily basis by people who say they love him and want him to be happy. How can he be?

He’s distant but he’s calm. He has bided his time well, prepared his body for anything the future may throw at him and gained the trust of everyone around him. He feels more powerful now than he’s ever felt. One of the last things his Father had said to him was that Snoke was using him for his powers. How true that had been was only now dawning on Ben as the force flowed through him more powerfully than he’d ever experienced before.

Luke and Rey had left the planet on some training assignment for Rey and Ben knew that there was no better time to make his move. He couldn’t make his move obvious, so gathering up belongings in a bag was not a good idea. He dressed in his now familiar black trousers, loose white shirt, black jacket and boots. He grabs the black cowl he’s taken to wearing. It helps him to avoid looking at people and it somehow brings him comfort, a familiarity from the past. He clipped his lightsabre to his belt and as he goes to throw the cowl on, he catches  
sight of himself in the mirror. He was a little winded as the vision of his father was stood before him. His heart skips a beat before he shakes himself back to reality. He adjusts the cowl and leaves the room and his two loyal bodyguard hounds follow.

He heads over to his Mother’s quarters. The only person he wants to see before he disappears forever. He knocks on her door and waits for an answer. When she tells him to come in he drops the hood of the cowl back, looks at the bodyguards and with a crooked grin and a twinkle in his eye he says “sit, stay!”

The bodyguards do not look amused.

When he enters the room, Leia is brushing her long hair. She always had long hair, Ben remembers fondly, only now it’s a little greyer than he remembers it as a child. He stands and watches her for a few moments before she notices him just standing and staring.

“Are you OK? To what do I owe the honour of this visit?” She says a little mockingly.

Ben doesn’t make visits as a rule and she’s a little surprised and also a little wary that he’s taken the time to come and see her.

“Please sit down with me” he says gesturing to the bed.

Leia crosses the room towards him and sits. Ben takes her hands and brings himself to sit next to her. He knows he’s about to break her heart all over again but he also knows he can’t stay. He doesn’t have a life here and even if he never finds what he’s looking for, he’d much rather be free to make his own life with no restrictions on what people expect of him, least of all his Mother, his untrusting Uncle and his Uncle’s condescending apprentice! 

“Mother” Ben says seriously, “I wanted to come and see you before I…….” he trailed off finding it more difficult than expected to spit the words out.

“Before you what?” Leia asks worriedly.

“Before I leave” he says and looks her dead in the eyes.

“Where are you going? When do you plan to be home? I was hoping we could dine together tonight” Leia says naively.

“I have to know” Ben says “I have to know what happened to Hux”

Leia tenses as the realisation of what he’s saying hits her.

“You’re not coming back are you?” she says as a tear falls down her cheek.

“No. You know I can’t. Especially if I find him, but I needed to say goodbye to you first, I needed to say I’m sorry.” He chokes on his last words. “I should never have listened to Snoke. I’ll never forgive myself and I know you could never truly look at me the way you used to. I can’t stay. You’d end up hating me”

Leia leans forward to hug him tightly and he whispers “I’m sorry” into her ear as he uses his force abilities to send her to sleep. He lays her gently down on the bed. He knows he wouldn’t get very far if he hadn’t done it and the last thing he wants is to have to fight his way off planet. He kisses her gently on the forehead and leaves the room. His heart is heavy as it dawns on him that he may never see her again.

“Heel” he shouts at his bodyguards and they huff and fall into step behind him.

They don’t get very far as Ben finds a quiet corner and despatches of them in the same manner as his Mother. They’ll sleep for a few hours. Long enough for him to be long gone.

He heads for a hanger bay he’s been eyeing for a while. He spotted a freighter there a few weeks ago that would be ideal for his purposes. Built for long term travel and hyper speed with plenty of room for two people to live he thinks with anticipation. He’s also noticed that the owners have been sprucing it up and preparing it for a long journey so it will be well stocked. 

He’s patient and waits for the right moment when the ship is unattended and ripe for picking. He quickly boards and settles himself in the pilot’s seat. The controls are not unfamiliar, they are almost the same as the controls on the Millennium Falcon, his Father’s old ship that he learnt to fly in. He was a better pilot than his Father and a wry smile fills his face at the rush of memories he was having. He powers the ship and, much to his surprise, leaves the planet completely undetected.


	4. Exaltation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He travels from system to system looking for clues or evidence of Hux’s existence but is becoming increasingly frustrated at the lack of anything. He should have known Hux would be a master at disappearing, Hux excelled at everything he put his mind to.

Weeks turn into months and Ben has become accustomed to life on board the freighter. He’s been searching the systems of the Outer Rim where he knows Hux would have headed. It makes sense. It’s easy to blend in surrounded by so many different cultures. He himself, quickly adjusts to the customs of the myriad of beings he encounters. He’s even taken to smuggling to justify some of his travelling making planet hopping less conspicuous. He finds himself smiling as he remembers his Father again and a tight knot makes itself present in his stomach at the thought.

He travels from system to system looking for clues or evidence of Hux’s existence but is becoming increasingly frustrated at the lack of anything. He should have known Hux would be a master at disappearing, Hux excelled at everything he put his mind to. 

As he sits in the cockpit watching hypnotic streaks of stars in hyperspace race past he gets an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach as he remembers where he’s heading. He’d been there several times as a child with his Father. It had been a favourite haunt of the infamous Han Solo and many a smuggling deal had been made there and now he was dropping off smuggled cargo of his own.

Tattooine was a hot desolate desert of a planet. Tuskan Raiders and Jawas were the sentient lifeforms. The Jawas had become the opportunists, learning to steel and barter alongside the Humanoids that use the planet for trading. The Raiders on the other hand did everything they could to make life difficult, they did not take well to off-worlders. The surface was scattered with various moisture farms and although a local government claimed to run the planet, it was the Hutts who ruled the planet. The smuggling hub was Tosche Station. This is where deals were made, ships were repaired, drink was imbibed, friendships were made and scores were settled.

As Ben came out of Hyperspace and Tatooine loomed into view the hairs went up on the back of Ben’s neck. There was a faint echo in the force surrounding him. He didn’t know if this was a reaction to his memories or……something else. He pushed it to the back of his mind and continued to his destination.

Once he’d landed and handed his cargo over, he left the hangar to stretch his legs and get some real food into his stomach. Living on dried and preserved ship food was a little monotonous and Ben took every opportunity he could to eat local delicacies at every stop he made.

He threw his hood over his head. He didn’t want to draw attention to himself. There were people here who knew Han Solo and would probably remember Ben too. Some of them would probably be looking to settle an old score and Ben simply wasn’t in the mood to fight so the hood was the best he could do to hide his identity.

The familiar sensation he’d felt through the force was still there. If anything it was getting stronger. He hadn’t dared to hope that he was getting close to his goal, he’d been disappointed so many times already. No, he convinced himself that it was merely due to the strong memories of this place and the time he’d spent there with his Father. He continued to the cantina.

The cantina was still as lively as he remembered it. Every face a different species. Tables inset into cubby holes where dodgy dealings could be made in peace and a live band. The air was stale with smoke and the fumes of  
various potent alcohols. He inhaled deeply welcoming more memories and walked to the bar.

As he stood there a group of around five humans with varying degrees of leather and armour appeared at the stepped entrance to the cantina. Kylo could feel waves of anger flowing from them. They spotted their target and headed across the cantina bumping Ben roughly out of the way as they passed him and that’s when he spotted the blasters they were also carrying. He stood tall waiting for trouble.

The gang headed to a booth with a lone occupant who’d been doing a good job at keeping his head down until the group of thugs arrived. He was on edge, Ben could see that. He was ready to bolt at any second. He’d been hunched over a bowl with a grey scarf covering his head and shoulders. He had a small backpack still on his back. One hand on a spoon over his bowl and the other on a blaster laid on the table. Ben couldn’t see the face but he felt the hostility erupt from the individual the minute he saw the gang approaching. He felt something else too! A familiar mind.

Kylo’s eyes widened. It couldn’t be!!.....and then all hell broke loose as the individual fired a blaster, twice, taking out two of the thugs. The other three were momentarily confused giving the individual time to flee. As he came streaking past Ben the scarf that was covering his head fell to his shoulders revealing a mop of bright red hair and a neatly trimmed beard. He was up the stairs and out of the cantina before Ben could gather his thoughts.

As Ben saw the other three thugs gather and make their way to the exit he was already hot on Hux’s heels. He saw the red head disappear around a corner and followed. All he can think is ‘When did Hux get so fast?!’

The thugs come barrelling after them and then Ben sees Hux make a mistake. He turns down what Ben knows is a dead end and he does the only thing he can, he follows and unhooks the sabre from his belt. Hux stands at the end of the alley with his back to the wall, blaster raised and ready for a fight. He fires a shot at Ben thinking he’s about to attack. Ben still has his hood up and Hux has no idea who he’s facing. Ben deflects the blast with the sabre and Hux stands frozen to the spot as the thugs come around the corner and start firing indiscriminately. Ben deflects every shot with ease and dispatches all three individuals.

He stands staring at his handy work for a few seconds with the smell of smoke, blaster fire and blood in the air and then he becomes acutely aware of the individual stood behind him who is panting and trying to calm his heartbeat down. He is also acutely aware of the mind he can now feel. A mind he hasn’t felt in three years.

“This way” Ben yells. “If you want to get out of here alive, follow me. Five dead bodies is going to attract attention, we need to leave…..NOW!! MOVE!!”

Hux reluctantly follows the hooded man who’d just single handedly despatched his attackers thinking ‘what have I got to lose?’

He follows him to a hangar where he is being ushered onto a freighter. He looks wary and Ben can feel Hux’s trepidation.

“It’s OK, you can trust me Hux” Ben says.

Hux shoots a look at the hooded individual wondering how he could know his name but it’s enough to convince him to move and he climbs the ramp into the freighter.

Ben is already in the pilot’s seat preparing to take off when Hux joins him in the co-pilot’s seat. The ship takes off with no more trouble in tow and when they are safely in hyperspace Hux turns to his rescuer. 

“Who are you?” Hux says inquisitively. “What do you want from me?”

Ben turns slowly to face Hux, lifts his head and lowers his hood.

“No, it can’t be” Hux says as he starts to shake. “You can’t be real. You can’t be here”  
His eyes are now red and watering furiously. He tries to wipe them but can’t stem the flow.

“Gods I’ve missed you Kylo!” Hux croaks.

Kylo is a name Ben hadn’t heard in so long that it takes him a second to realise Hux is actually talking to him. He thought he’d forgotten Kylo, that he’d buried Kylo along with his old life but hearing Hux say it again is flooding him with more memories. Memories of Hux and their life before. He wants to hear it again.

“Kylo, what’s wrong?” Hux says becoming a little frantic.

“Nothing” Kylo says as he closes the gap between them and embraces Hux for the first time in three years. 

The hug is strong and Kylo can feel Hux hugging back tightly. Afraid to let go. The smaller man is shaking and it is soon evident that he’s sobbing too.

“You idiot” he sniffs. “What were you thinking? Why are you here?”

“I had to know what happened to you”

“Why would you want to see me after what I did to you?” Hux says frantically.

Kylo Hugs him tighter “Because I still love you Hux.”

Hux looks at Kylo with anguish in his eyes.

“What happened to you? Did they hurt you?”

“Not exactly” Kylo says as he lets go of Hux.

“What did they do?….. Kylo tell me”

“They kept me locked in a force suppression collar…… for two years” Kylo says as a shudder runs through him.

Hux is shocked. He sits back down completely deflated.

“I’m so sorry, I had no idea they would leave it on so long”

“You knew about that?” Kylo says a little horrified.

Hux looks at Kylo with sadness in his eyes “I gave it to them” he said “It was my idea. I knew there would be no way of holding you without it”.

Kylo thinks about what he’s just heard. If he’s honest with himself he always knew that, he just needed Hux to say it.

“I know why you did what you did and It took me the longest time to truly understand that. I forgive you Hux”

“Really?” Hux says as a tentative smile spreads across his face.

“Of course I do! Would I have spent the last 6 months searching for you if I didn’t forgive you? C’mon, I’ve got the ship on auto pilot, let’s get something to eat”

The next few hours are spent eating, drinking, laughing and filling each other in on the last three years.

Hux tells Kylo how he has literally been running from planet to planet. Not only does he have people looking for revenge for the Hosnian System but the First Order has a huge bounty on his head meaning that everyone else is also looking for him in the hope of changing their own circumstances. He’s been trying to blend in and offering work in return for travel. He literally cannot remember the last time he had the same bed for more than a week.

Kylo tells Hux how he’d completely switched off to the world. How he’d finally met ‘the girl’ Rey and how he’d found her to be ‘The typical Jedi’ and infuriatingly condescending. How he’d buried Kylo and become Ben for a while. He thinks it was self-preservation, his mind playing tricks on him. How he never felt like he belonged there, even after 2 years. How he ‘used’ his time to his advantage, keeping his true goal hidden and that he never forgot about Hux.

By the time Kylo finishes his side of the story they have drawn together on the sofa in the living space. He’s stretched out with his head in Hux’s lap and it’s almost like the last three years have never happened.

“So where’s the fresher on this tub?” Hux suddenly asks.

“Through the sleeping quarters” Kylo says “C’mon, I'll show you”

Kylo takes Hux by the hand and leads him through the ship to the sleeping quarters. As they walk through the bedroom Hux notices the lone double bed and raises a brow at Kylo.

“The previous owners were a couple” Kylo says hurriedly as colour flushes his cheeks.

“How did you come by it?” Hux says, although he probably already knows the answer.“

“I………liberated it” Kylo says for lack of a better word.

“You mean you stole it” Hux says grinning broadly.

“The fresher is through there” Kylo huffs.

“Mind if I use some of your stuff? I appear to have left my last lodgings in rather a hurry” Hux says.

“Be my guest”

Kylo leaves the room to check on the ship’s progress and when he gets back Hux is standing in the bedroom looking at Kylo’s personal items, what little there are. He is stripped to the waist and Kylo notices a few scars that hadn’t been there before. When he turns to look at Kylo, Kylo visibly takes a deep breath. Hux has shaved and has tied his now long hair back away from his face. He has a sizeable scar across his jaw and various scars down his chest and abdomen. It’s clear that Hux hadn’t had an easy time over the last three years. The thing that strikes Kylo most though are Hux’s eyes.

“I’d forgotten” Kylo chokes out.

“What?” Hux says looking around.

“How beautiful your eyes are” he says in amazement.

Hux all but leaps the distance between them and hungrily kisses Kylo. His desperation is clear and Kylo soon finds himself reciprocating, running his hands over Hux’s back and torso and memorising the new scars.

“Too many layers” Hux huffs into Kylo’s ear.

“What?” Kylo says confused.

“Clothes Kylo, clothes, get them off.. now!” 

Kylo starts to remove his ‘layers’ as Hux guides him towards the bed. He’s about to remove his trousers when Hux pushes him backwards. The back of his knees hit the side of the bed and he collapses onto it. Hux finishes the job and pulls the trousers off fully before working his way back up Kylo, licking, kissing and nipping up the inside of his thighs, across his hips, reacquainting himself with the hideous bowcaster scar until he reaches Kylo’s sensitive nipples. By the time he reaches them Kylo is all but screaming and is painfully hard and so is Hux.

“Lube?” Hux enquires.

Kylo lifts a hand to reveal a small tube of lubricant and Hux is too pre-occupied to enquire where he magically pulled it from. 

“Top or bottom?” He says with a smirk.

Kylo’s had enough of Hux being playful. He’s desperately hard and won’t last much longer. He flips Hux onto his back and rests his entire weight down onto the smaller man. He kisses Hux firmly and Hux runs both his hands through Kylo’s hair.

“I’ve missed your hair” he says as Kylo sits back on his knees between Hux’s legs and pushes them wide.

Kylo squeezes a generous amount of lube onto his fingers and then falls back towards Hux, one hand by Hux’s head and the slicked hand cupping Hux’s balls and working its way back towards Hux’s hole. He circles the sensitive area teasingly as Hux’s breathing begins to hitch and then he slips two fingers inside eliciting a gasp from Hux who arches his back at the sensation. Kylo gently works him open before introducing a third finger. Hux is now making whimpering noises and it’s spurring Kylo on.

“I’ve missed this so much” Hux puffs “fuck me now Kylo, fuck me hard”

That’s the only encouragement Kylo needed. He removes his fingers and lines his achingly hard cock up to Hux’s hole before lowering himself down and into Hux until he is balls deep in the man.

“Fuck that feels good” Hux says.

Kylo is shuddering and trying to steady himself before he slowly starts to rock his hips. He gently starts to increase the pace until Hux practically screams at him to “go faster, fuck me harder”

Kylo increases his pace.

“I’m…… not going… unf..ah…to last at this pace” he confesses.

“Neither am I, ahhh, don’t stop!” Hux yells.

Hux arches his back and Kylo loops an arm under him and draws him closer. Hux wraps his legs tightly around Kylo hips and they both come to a shuddering orgasm. Kylo flops down onto Hux still rocking his hip gently and working them both through the orgasm until it subsides and the pair of them just lay there, holding tight.

Kylo has his head on Hux’s chest and he still can’t believe Hux is real and this just happened.

“So what do we do now” Hux asks.

“We could do that again” Kylo smirks.

“I’m serious” Hux says, pushing Kylo to one side.

Kylo still has his arms completely wrapped around Hux thinking he would disappear if he let go.

“You’re not safe out here on your own” Kylo says. “You need a bodyguard. This ship is perfect for the two of us. We could travel, see the galaxy and I could be there to protect you when you needed it”

“But how will we live?” Hux asks.

“I am quite adept at getting what I want from people using mind tricks” Kylo assures Hux. “I could easily get us an upgrade on this ship if you’d like, you’ll want for nothing Hux, I promise”

“That reminds me!” Hux says excitedly. “I have something for you” and he bounces out of bed to find his backpack.

When he comes back he’s holding Kylo’s cross guard lightsabre and he holds it out to Kylo who’s looking stunned. Kylo takes it and lovingly rolls it around in his hand reacquainting himself with the weight of it and then he gets up and places it with his collection of memories on the chest of drawers.

“What’s the matter?” Hux asks “Don’t you want it?”

“No, it’s not that, I’m glad you kept it. It’s just that I always aspired to be like my grandfather. I ‘have’ my Grandfather’s lightsabre.”

“I don’t understand” Hux says a little bemused.

“Vader’s lightsabre was red and that is what I aspired to be like when I was Kylo Ren, leader of the Knights of Ren. My sabre was red also. What I didn’t realise until recently is that I actually aspired to be like Anakin Skywalker. A free spirit who got mislead down the wrong path. His sabre was blue”

Kylo picks up his Grandfather’s lightsabre from the pile of clothes on the floor.

“This one. I think we could have a good life you and me but it won’t be easy. I could have the second chance my Grandfather never got”

“But you’ll be running forever” Hux says.

“Yeah, but think of all the fun we’re going to have!” Kylo smiles as he settles back down into bed with Hux.

He knows….. he can sense it. Life is going to be great from now on.

**Author's Note:**

> I've been feeling a little emotional and angsty recently. I think it may have bled out into writing this. I hope it's doesn't come across as too sentimental. I enjoyed writing it.


End file.
